Only one has an anti-glare finish.
by schwim on Feb.08, 2010, under Miscellaneous
While I could spend all day linking surveys hosted by entities that hate Apple and skew the numbers in their favor to make Apple’s latest must-have product(ok, you got me. I linked one), I’m going to pass, if only because they’re not funny. What is Apple if it isn’t a company that inspires laughs?
Which leads me to this hard-hitting comparison:
This is the kind of fair and balanced journalism that I can get behind.
Good intentions only get you so far.
by schwim on Feb.05, 2010, under Software
In the case of Firefox, it seems to be a case of diminishing returns.
Let me just say before starting this that I love Firefox. The ridiculously large number of addons are the biggest draw for me with standards compliance coming in at a close second. Recently though, the ballooning of the browser has been getting in the way of my productivity. It’s become fucking slow, for one. The browser is beginning to take as long to start as the operating system itself. Secondly, I’ve started having problems with flash inside the browser. Other browsers are using the same flash plugin without issue, so I have to assume that it’s Firefox botching the implementation of it.
As often happens with me, I began grazing upon browsers in search of greener pastures. Almost always, this ends up with me back at the application I started with, but this time may be different.
We also hang out at the same theaters.
by schwim on Feb.05, 2010, under Humorous
While all the reputable news outlets were busy telling you how fantastic the iPad is, I felt as if I was doing my reader(yeah, I’m down to one, unfortunately) a grave disservice by not doing my part to explain to the world what made the iPad so great.
Then I found out I didn’t have to, since Peewee Herman has already done it for me.
Perfect except for the squares across his face.
by schwim on Feb.04, 2010, under Humorous
If you absolutely, positively must commit a crime that is likely to gain enough notoriety to require a sketch artist to capture your likeness in order to share with the area, then you should consider making Bolivia the home base for your crime spree.
Add some glasses and part the hair a little differently and I think I may have found the culprit:
Way to cover your tracks, supergenius.
by schwim on Feb.03, 2010, under Humorous
I noticed in my refers today something that made me smile:
Notice the one at the bottom. I looked back in the last year and five other people searched for “how to commit arson without getting caught” Doing a traceroute on all six IPs shows that proxies were not used during the search.
Here’s a pro-tip for all six of you. If you think it’s a good idea to search the web for this without using some kind of blind proxy, then you are not the type of person that will succeed at this particular endeavor. Think about hiring a professional.
Don’t know where to find one? Just Google it.
Edit: This is better than I ever could have imagined. Since posting this, 11 more mental midgets have visited to find out how to torch something without becoming the latest sausage recipient at the local prison.
Thanks for the smiles.
You really make it tough for those of us that don’t keep records.
by schwim on Feb.03, 2010, under Spam
From: David Benton <bentondav@web2mail.com>
Reply-To: bentonda@gmx.comSubj: Attention
This is For your Attention:
We wish to notify you again that you were listed as a beneficiary
to the total sum of Four million Two hundred and Fifty Seven Thousand
Seventeen Pence (British Pounds Sterling) in the intent of the deceased
(names now withheld since this is our second letter to you). We
contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore we
can present you as the beneficiary to the inheritance since there was
no written will. Our legal services aim to provide our private clients
with a complete service. We are happy to prepare wills, set-up and
administer Trusts, carry out the administration of estates and
prepare and administer Powers of Attorney.
All the papers will be processed in your acceptance. In your
acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward to this
email: bentonda@gmx.com
Your letter of acceptance your current telephone and fax numbers
and a forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at
our High court probate division for the release of this sum of
money to you.Yours Sincerely,
David Benton
bentonda@gmx.com
Withheld? Two can play that game, Mr. Benton.
A tip of the hat to you, good sir.
by schwim on Feb.03, 2010, under Miscellaneous
I sometimes wish I lived a hundred years ago when every woman was a lady and every man was a gentleman. I know this to be an inarguable truth because everyone wore fancy hats.
Everybody.
Fucking everybody.
Oh, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.
by schwim on Feb.02, 2010, under Humorous
The fact that the author thought instructions on how to fall 35,000 feet and live was a feasible how-to article is kind of funny. It pales in comparison however, to this little tid-bit of info buried inside:
Then, if a feet-first entry is inevitable, the most important piece of advice, for reasons both unmentionable and easily understood, is to clench your butt.
Mental note: The next time I’m thrust out of a commercial airliner at cruising altitude, I absolutely must remember to put my reading material aside, pull my earphones and clench my asshole tightly at the end of the fall.
Your stories grow tiresome and unamusing… touch my monkey.
by schwim on Jan.29, 2010, under Spam
From: SERGENT CHUCK WHITE FITTE <sgt._chuck_whitee@o2.pl>
Reply-To: sgt._chuck_white@o2.plSubj: CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE
Hello,
My name is Chuck White Fitte. An American soldier serving in the Military of the 1st Armored Division in Hilla, 100km (60 miles) south of the capital, Baghdad Iraq. As you know, we are being attacked daily by insurgents and car bombings. I stumbled into a storage vault belonging to Uday Hussein.Saddam Hussein’s oldest son and discovered funds belonging to his family. The total amount is US$28.450 Million dollars in cash, mostly 100 dollar bills tightly tied in $1000.00 bundles. I want to secretly move this money to a reputable/sincere person for investment purposes. This is the reason for contacting you.
I am ready to compensate you with good percentage of the funds. The only thing i require from you is just for you to assist in moving the funds out of Iraq because Iraq is a war zone. I plan on using diplomatic means to shipping the money out as military cargo, using diplomatic immunity to London with the aid of my school friend who base in the U.K and has a chamber in central london. If you are interested I will send you his full details. My job is to find a good and respectable partner with great repute that i can trust that will assist. Can i trust you? When you receive this letter,kindly send me an e-mail signifying your interest including your most confidential telephone numbers which i will send to him for futher instructions.
This is 100% risk free.
All responses to:-
sgt._chuck_white@o2.plRespectfully,
Sgt.Chuck White Fitte.
You would think that you be required to be able to at least spell your rank.
