E-Dribble

I was thinking tonight. I decided that I’m either a subconscious gay, or I’m a hermaphrodite and just haven’t found my other gear yet. I’m lacking the required levels of testosterone to be able to be a card carrying member of the male species.

It’s true. My reasoning behind this is because of many aspects, not just any one thing. Team sports don’t interest me. I don’t belong to any sort of clubs. I don’t drink. I can’t tolerate golf, poker or any other activity that provides the same level of activity as either gardening or watching TV. I’m missing that whole male camaraderie thing as well. I’ve lived in my house for 4 years now and have never had anyone over to jam, watch Magic Johnson play a child’s game or get drunk on the porch while our poker chips fall through the cracks in the patio table.

That’s not the reason I’m worried for my manhood though. My main concern is that I’m missing that whole machismo mechanism. Guys my age have to convert everything they do into something more extreme. Everything. Seriously. It’s part of the memory making process for a guy. They do it, it’s inflated while being written to the gray matter and then they share it with the world.

Case in point; I frequent a 4 wheel drive forum often. During that time, I usually hang around and read threads while waiting to resolve whatever issue I have. I get to read a lot of ride reports. There are pictures in these reports.

How could you manipulate that, you ask? In what possible way could they contaminate the graphical representation of their time out wheeling? Well, I’m going to let you guess, but to help, I will show you what normal, everyday pictures would look like if we followed their picture taking process:

They tilt the camera to make the angles look more extreme. I’m totally serious and worse, I don’t think they consciously know that they’re doing it. For fun, I save them, rotate them until the trees are again pointing toward the sky, then post them in a reply with a funny little comment. Nobody ever seems to find it amusing though. Why? Well, I think it’s because I’ve done something that the male is not supposed to do. I’ve made public note of a worldwide male trait that is not to be spoken of. Everyone usually acts like I didn’t post anything at all, and if they do respond, it’s usually in anger. Some have stated that they would bet that I do it myself.

I can’t. I don’t do anything extreme enough to even create a believable representation of an X-Treme situation.

I guess I could at least try.

I bet the gays wouldn’t even have me.