E-Dribble

I love 419 scams. Unfortunately, the people that send them rarely do any more than change the names of the people giving me lots of money, so it eventually grows tiring of poking some fun at them. It’s been so long though that I was able to enjoy authoring a response.

Subject: CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your Email Has Won 1,000,000.00 GBP
From: Mr.Joseph Poon <lesliesmith@orange.net>

Reply-To: Mr.Joseph Poon <lesliesmith@orange.net>

Date: 12:33 AM
To: franktrevor_08@hotmail.com

Mr.Joseph Poon wrote:

Yahoo/Msn Lottery Incorporation
22 Garden Close, Stamford, Lincs, PE9 2YP,
London
United Kingdom.

Dear Winner,

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the
just concluded  draws held on the{20th Of April,
2008} by Yahoo/MSN  in conjunction with Myway.com and
I pod  Worldwide Promotion. Your email was among
the 20 Lucky winners who won £1,000,000.00{One Million
Great Britain Pounds} each in the Yahoo/MSN {Microsoft}
2008 Online Promo. This draw is being organized to
create and improve a larger awareness record for
internet users worldwide.

However the results were released on the {2nd Of April,
2008} and your email was attached to ticket number
(7PWYZ2008) and ballot number (BT: 12052008/20) The
online draws was conducted by a random selection of
email addresses from an exclusive list of 29,031,643
E-mail addresses of individuals and corporate bodies
picked by an advanced automated random computer search
from the internet. However, no tickets were sold but
all email addresses were assigned to different ticket
numbers for representation and privacy. 

The selection process was carried out through random
selection in our computerized email selection machine
(TOPAZ).This Lottery is approved by the British Gaming
Board and also licensed by the The International
Association of Gaming Regulators (IAGR).This lottery
is the 3rd of its kind and we intend to sensitize the public. 

To begin the claim processing of your prize you are
to contact the Online Co-ordinator and provide him
with the following information’s as stated below, so
we can proceed with the verification and clearance
process of your file. 

1. Full Names : ...........................................
2. Residential Address : ...........................................
3. Phone Number :Mobile&Home.............................
4. Fax Number : ..........................................
5. Occupation : ..........................................
6. Sex : ..........................................
7. Age : ..........................................
8. Nationality :.....................
9.Ballot No. :.......................
10.Ticket No.:......................

Dr Frank Trevor
Online Co-ordinator.
Email:    franktrevor_08@hotmail.com 

*You are advised to forward these information’s as
soon as possible to enable us attend to your file.
This email is registered and sent only to a certified
Yahoo/MSN {Microsoft} promo winner. 

You are to keep this award strictly from public notice
until your claim has been processed and your money
remitted to you.  This is part of our security protocol
to avoid issues of friends or relatives trying to claim
a prize on the rightful winner's behalf.

Our special thanks and gratitude to Bill Gates and
associates. Accept our hearty congratulations once again.

Yours Faithfully,

Mrs. Roseline S. Rader
Head of Council/Verifications Dept.

I must say, I am absolutely flabbergasted. I never win ANYTHING! And now I find out that I’ve won 1 million GBP’s? Oh my gosh!!

I must admit that I wasn’t sure what a GBP was, so I looked it up, and was amazed that I’d be receiving 1 million of these babies:

Nintendo Game Boy Pocket

Holy cow! a million Game Boy Pockets? I don’t even know where I will put them all! I guess I could probably fit them in the house, but I’m not sure if I’ll have room to live in it afterwards. I guess I and the family could sleep in the car. To make sure that was a viable alternative, we practiced last night:

It seems both my wife and daughter have a lot of stuff that they can’t go without, even if we’re just in the driveway.

Hey, you know what? I’m not going to complain, I’m going to enjoy my great luck! While in preparation for my lucky windfall, I promise that I will not dwell on the following aspects of my notification email:

1) Microsoft is partnered with Apple and Yahoo for this drawing. Microsoft recently attempted a hostile takeover of Yahoo and was rebuffed. They have also been vocal enemies of Apple, maker of the I-Pod since the inception of both companies.

2) The head council that sent me the email has problems with spelling basic words. As well, the email contains more grammatical errors than the schoolwork that my six year old brings home.

3) The email was sent from Mr.Joseph Poon <lesliesmith@orange.net> and signed by Mrs. Roseline S. Rader. For added confusion, you actually mailed this email to franktrevor_08@hotmail.com. If you are as bad at counting as you are at spelling, I will help. You’re referencing four different people as the originator of the email.

I will just learn to blindly trust a drawing that can’t even tell me my name, and wait patiently for my one million Game Boys.

Thanks,
json