E-Dribble

I swear to God, I think they’ve farmed the drafting of these emails out to a facility for the mentally incompetent:

From the greedy genius:

debomen@hetnet.nl wrote:

confirm your prize Lucky No 2-10-18-22-36-4/6.

Your Email have won €1,000,000.00.Euros in De Postcode Euro Millions Email Sweepstakes Program Corporation, held on the 5th of February, 2009 in The Netherlands. Your email address was selected via computer ballot along with other 50 million email addresses collected from the web internet across the globe and your email came up with a golden ticket number 2820151922 and Award Numbers NLD318/15/662, We write to officially notify you of this award and to advise you to contact the processing office immediately for the claim.

Contact person, Micheal Van Holmes.
TEL:0031-659-019-056
Reply to E-mail: michealholmes@aol.nl

You are to contact your lottery agent with the following information’s:

Full Names:
Address:
Tel/Fax Numbers:
Occupations:
Date of Birth
Sex:
Nationality:
Award Numbers:
Amount Won:

Yours Sincerely,
Promotion Coordinator
Mrs. Holly Pieter.

I wrote:

If you’re going to try to steal money from unsuspecting victims, please consider not using terminology from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

Seriously, how fucking stupid are you?  A golden ticket?  Did an Oompa Loompa pick my name?  Will I also receive an Everlasting Gobstopper and get to own Willy’s factory when this is all over?

Fuckstick.

thanks,
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