The range is phenomenal
by schwim on Aug.04, 2009, under Spam
I long ago reached the bottom of the barrel in regards to emails to respond to. I’ll provide better responses once the Nigerians resume their attempts at making their emails even remotely plausible.
Subject: Dear Child,
From: rose smith <asismith43@msn.com>Reply-To: asifesmith.2020@live.com
Dear Child,
May God lead you my child.
My name is Mother Rose Smith,a widow to late William Smith, a business merchant here in London,who die after a protracted illness in may 2nd, 2006 ,I am presently undergoing Treatments in Southampton ,England. I have been diagnosed with hydatidiform mole cancer and esophageal cancer that was discovered very late due to lack of caring for my health.That was traced to be the source of my barrenness according to the experts. I have only about a few months to live according to this medical experts.
I am looking for someone reliable and trusted that can use my fund worth 7.5$ Million pounds,(Seven Million Five Hundred Thousand ) with CITI BANK UK for the less privileges and orphanage homes. Since i can’t survive this illness. Please contact me through this email address immediately with your
Name,
Address
phone number
and the Name of your Church:
Warm Greetings from,
Mother Rose Smith
I did the best I could with what was provided.
My dearest and most cherished dying lady with a shitload of cash,
It is so great to hear of your mortal illnesses, as I’m in great need of cash right now. You can probably imagine what I could do with the money about as well as I can believe a single fucking thing you write.
You must be using one of those new fangled wireless air cards. To help you get better performance out of it, you should run the configuration on it again. If you’re in Southampton, England undergoing treatments, I’m sure you can find a closer wireless point than Nigeria, which is the IP your email was drafted from.
And my church? Any one that says you’ll be spending eternity in hell is fine with me. I’m fairly open-minded.
thanks,
json
August 4th, 2009 on 9:30 pm
Ahhh, but they’re changing tack a little these days… I’ve had one or two mails from “ladies” who claim to have seen my details on a dating site (???) and “wish to get to know me better” Like this one that claims to come from the US:
Hello Dear,
how are you today i hope that every things is ok with you as it is my great pleassure to contact you in having communication with you, please i wish you will have the desire with me so that we can get to know each other better and see what happened in future.i will be very happy if you can write me through my email for easiest communication and to know all about each other, and also give you my pictures and details about me, here is my email(merrymerry500@yahoo.com) i will be waiting to hear from you as i wish you all the best for your day.
your new friend.
Miss Merry E-mail me
(merrymerry500@yahoo.com)
August 4th, 2009 on 11:03 pm
I need to seed my spam address some more. I never get any good ones. I’m so fucking tired of the cut-n-paste kiddies that I fear I’m going to lose my response mojo. They really need to get their ass in gear.
August 7th, 2009 on 9:04 pm
Sigh… They’re getting lazy…. Just a short missive from this one rather than the long tale one is accustomed to:
I AM Mr. Muss Sani,I AM THE FOREIGN REMITTANCE MANAGER OF(BOA)BANK OF AFRICAN IN BURKINA FASO. INDICATE YOUR INTERESTT TO RECEIVE THE TRANSFER OF US$2.5 MILLION.6O% FOR ME AND 40% FOR YOU,YOU WILL STAND AS NEXT OF KING TO MY LATE CUSTOMER.MR. JOHN KOROVO WHO DIED ON PLAN CRASH ON (MONDAY 31st JULY2005)LIVING NO BODY BEHIND CANTACT ME ON (00226.76 28 15 37)ANDYOU SAND ALLYOUR INFORMATOIN .THIS IS MY EMAIL ADDRES (musasani92@yahoo.com) FROM MR Musa Sani.
1) Your Full Name…………………………?
2) Your Age…………………………………… ?
3) Marital Status…………………………….?
4) Your Phone Number…………….?
5) Your Fax Numbers……………….?
6) Your Country……………………….. ?
7) Your Occupation………………………..?
8) Sex…………………………………………..?
9) Your Religion……………………………?