I long ago reached the bottom of the barrel in regards to emails to respond to. I’ll provide better responses once the Nigerians resume their attempts at making their emails even remotely plausible.
Subject: Dear Child,
From: rose smith <email@example.com>
May God lead you my child.
My name is Mother Rose Smith,a widow to late William Smith, a business merchant here in London,who die after a protracted illness in may 2nd, 2006 ,I am presently undergoing Treatments in Southampton ,England. I have been diagnosed with hydatidiform mole cancer and esophageal cancer that was discovered very late due to lack of caring for my health.That was traced to be the source of my barrenness according to the experts. I have only about a few months to live according to this medical experts.
I am looking for someone reliable and trusted that can use my fund worth 7.5$ Million pounds,(Seven Million Five Hundred Thousand ) with CITI BANK UK for the less privileges and orphanage homes. Since i can’t survive this illness. Please contact me through this email address immediately with your
and the Name of your Church:
Warm Greetings from,
Mother Rose Smith
I did the best I could with what was provided.
My dearest and most cherished dying lady with a shitload of cash,
It is so great to hear of your mortal illnesses, as I’m in great need of cash right now. You can probably imagine what I could do with the money about as well as I can believe a single fucking thing you write.
You must be using one of those new fangled wireless air cards. To help you get better performance out of it, you should run the configuration on it again. If you’re in Southampton, England undergoing treatments, I’m sure you can find a closer wireless point than Nigeria, which is the IP your email was drafted from.
And my church? Any one that says you’ll be spending eternity in hell is fine with me. I’m fairly open-minded.