E-Dribble

If you check the archives, you’ll see a letter identical to this in almost every way.  The author didn’t even bother to change the names, in an effort to keep his prospective victims from realizing he’s a spamming incompetent via Google.

Subject: Dear Child,
From: rose smith <rose.smith123@sbcglobal.net>

Reply-To: williamsmith.2020@live.com

Dear Child,

May God lead you my child.

My name is Mother Rose Smith,a widow to late William Smith, a business merchant here in London,who die after a protracted illness in may 2nd, 2007 ,I am presently undergoing Treatments in Southampton ,England. I have been diagnosed with hydatidiform mole cancer and esophageal cancer that was discovered very late due to lack of caring for my health.That was traced to be the source of my barrenness according to the experts. I have only about a few months to live according to this medical experts.

I am looking for someone reliable and trusted that can use my fund worth 7.5$ (Seven Million Five Hundred Thousand ) with CITI BANK UK for the less privileges and orphanage homes. Since i can’t survive this illness. Please contact me through this email address immediately with your

Name,
Address
phone number
and the Name of your Church:

Warm Greetings from,

Mother Rose Smith.

What can I do with this?  I’m as tired of writing the same response as you are of reading it.  Frankly, my exasperation is beginning to show.

Dear Rose,

Don’t you get tired of using the same fucking email that every other Nigerian scammer is using over and over again?  Seriously.  I’ve built a whole site around ridiculing your kind ( http://www.infosprite.com/category/spam/ You’ll notice that the first in the category is the same email you’ve sent me from August 4th ). The least you could do is take a moment to try to come up with something different.  I’ve grown so tired of seeing the same dying lady with the same dead husband, trying to give away the same fake money in the name of God.  For the love of Jesus, can’t you come up with a gay guy dying of aids that wants to give his solid gold bars stolen from a pirate-themed restaurant in Key West to someone he doesn’t know?  Anything!   Just give me something to work with!

I very much hope that you consider trying to draft up something new.  You’ve already proven that you’re not the sharpest crayon in the box by sending me this email but nonetheless, I’m praying that you try.  Please keep my email address handy and send me a copy when you’ve finished it.

Who knows, maybe I’ll even send you all my money.

thanks,
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