E-Dribble

Rose writes:

Subject: Mail from Rose
From: Rose Mensah <rosemensah1@yahoo.in>

Reply-To: rose_mensah85@hotmail.com

- Dear Friend, My name is Rose Mensah, a female of 23 years old and a 3rd year student of UNIVERSITY OF GHANA. My father was in the Precious Stone industry and owned mines in Tanzania, He also used to deal (buy and sell) in diamonds from Angola, Ghana, Sierra Leone and Democratic Republic of Congo (former Zaire).It is sad to say that he died of the deadly Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome – AIDS on the 15th July, 2007.Two days after my father was pronounced HIV positive, my mother Committed suicide. Now, I can no longer walk freely on the streets, at school or even in the church without being pointed at or gossiped about. This development has affected me academically, physically and Psychologically and I have decided to come over to your country where I Would have peace to live and further my education and have contacted you to assist me to transfer out the sum of $US 5.3Million and 75kilos of gold and diamond which my father deposited with Safety company, for my upkeep when it became Obvious he was going to die. I intend to invest this money in your business or any other business you deem healthy. However I will appreciate if you keep my letter confidential or delete if you do not accept my proposal, you will be rewarded with 20% of the total funds for your efforts, I Thanking you in anticipation Rose Mensah

I reply:

Well, hello Rose!  My name is json, a middle age man with tons of money and little common sense.  My father developed the globally accepted method of milking hamsters, which ensured our financial well-being.  Just like you, my father contracted AIDS and shortly thereafter died.  My mother ran off with a business partner of my father’s, to continue living the life of style that a hamster milker made possible. So here I sit with millions of dollars and nothing to do with it.  Luckily for you, all Americans are:

1) Greedy
2) Stupid

So I am indeed looking forward to trying to get this money you speak of. I’ve done a little research and have come up with the perfect way of getting your money to me.  I’ll explain in two stages:

The cash:  This one is a piece of cake.  I’ve come up with a foolproof method of getting the cash to me.

1) Go to the bank and withdraw all of the funds.  Request the total amount in $5 bills.
2) Go to the grocery store.  Purchase birthday, get well, apology and holiday cards.  Buy them all.
3) Fill the card out to me and slip $5 into it.
4) Profit!

You’ll need 1, 060, 000 cards.

The gold:  A little bit harder situation to solve, but I think you’ll agree that I’ve outdone myself.

Ask yourself this; How do people transfer drugs internationally?  I’ll tell you how.  They shove condoms of the stuff up their ass so nobody can find it! And who likes to have things shoved up their asses?  Gay guys!  I propose that we hire a bunch of gay men, send them to Ghana for a “vacation”, then refuse to send them back until they’ve agreed to carry a half kilo of gold back to me in their ass.  We will need 150 gay guys to do this, so I suggest that we put in ad in Craig’s List in San Fransisco. We’ll also need some Vasaline for your part of the process and a lot of soap for mine.

I’m sure you can now see that with my problem solving aptitude, you’ve nothing to worry about in regards to getting your money over to the United States.  I’ll be waiting patiently for your response.

thanks,
json