E-Dribble

Having moved years ago to an area rich with rednecks, I’ve had plenty of time to grow used to most of the odd regional customs. Some of them are even quite amusing(for instance, you can say anything about anyone as long as you append “God bless them” at the end; i.e. “That boy’s one stupid son of a bitch, God bless him.”).  Others make you glad that you managed to climb further up the evolution ladder than the spot they are occupying (“I once overheard a man at a building supply store state “I’m going to go crazy if I don’t get out in the woods and kill something soon.”).

Some local customs still leave me wondering what in the Hell drives these people though.  Case in point: Sharing the death of people close to you with whoever happens to be in the car behind yours.  With the recent leaps in vinyl cutting technology, anyone can make stickers for their car now.  This is great for those of us that would like to advertise our business.   It’s not so great, however, if you spend a lot of your time in the south behind cars of people who have had a loved one die.  I can appreciate that you mourn the loss of Bubba.  This however doesn’t change the fact that I don’t have a fucking clue who he is. If I did know who he was, I wouldn’t need a vinyl tombstone on the car in front of me to trigger the mourning process. It’s almost like that game people play on forums; “ban the person above your post”, but with a lot less of a happy-factor.  “Share the death of a person with the car behind you.”

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My main man, the Obamanator, in an effort put the government in charge of absolutely everything assembled a shock-troop in charge of people that sell you cellular phones.  Well, those guys are wondering why Verizon doubled their cancellation fee for data phone contracts.

Verizon’s response?  Well, they doubled the fee so the poor unwashed mobs of the world can afford to get the same incredible service that Verizon provides to the rich  bastards that pay the ETF(early termination fee).

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I thought we found the perfect use for Twitter when the incredible shock troop that is the Iranian Cyber Army took over Twitter’s home page to post notice of said takeover(Side note: if you’d like to contact the Iranian cyber army, they would love to hear from you.  They posted their GMail address on the takeover splash page, the social butterflies.).

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From: febian george <febiangeorge8@sify.com>
Date: Dec 16
Reply-to: febiangeorge202@sify.com
Subject: HELLO

I have US$33m to invest and if you are interested contact me for further details I am looking forward to hearing from you. via e_mail, febiangeorge202@sify.com

yours sincerely,
DR,Febian George
For the Family

I feel I owe Febian something in exchange for all the time he’s going to save me in the future:

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I’ve had a bit of fun reading about Facebook’s recent attempt to overthrow Google as the go-to place for useless shit.  You see, Facebook’s visits translate into advertising dollars. One fantastic way of increasing the number of visits is by making it practically impossible for you to secure your data, thereby making more content available for all the people that have absolutely nothing better to do than spend hours a day browsing flotsam and jetsam posted by other people with nothing better to do than to post it.

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CNN is afraid that the US will no longer be considered a technological powerhouse.  They fear this because the US filed less patents this year than in any of the previous 13 years. If you’re not so slow that you count on the likes of CNN to influence ANY aspect of your life, you should find it cute that the mature grown-ups that make the news(remember now, they’re not reporting it, they’re making this shit up) consider our innovation as a country to be dependent upon how many patents we file.

Honestly, who isn’t smart enough to realize that we as a country stopped being a technological innovator a very long time ago?  We’re globally ridiculed for the sheer volume of bullshit patents we generate and for the fact that we use almost all of them to siphon money from the real innovators that inadvertently tread upon one of the millions of overlapping patents that we have filed simply for this reason.  We’re a country of opportunistic trolls.

Or maybe I’m just being to tough on our genius innovators.

Eric Schmidt of Google says that only miscreants need privacy. So, if you worry about what Google is doing with your data, you should be ashamed of yourself. You probably also deserve to go to jail.

Now, I’ve talked about the thin veil of Google’s “Don’t be Evil” facade.  Usually just to poke fun at those that might actually believe it.  So far though, this story just doesn’t rate any space here.  We all know that the giant that is Google doesn’t feel you should have any right to privacy.  Big deal, right?

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I often find comments in the spam section from people that are a few IQ points shy of a retard.  This one, however, elicits a giggle.  First, the comment:

{Hello|Hey there|Hey} {everyone|everybody|all},

{If|When} you {get|have} {an opportunity|a chance} {you|you all} {should|need to} {see|view|play} this {movie|video}. It {could|may|will} {soon|shortly} be {banned|taken down|outlawed}. {This|It is} what the {medical community|drug companies} don’t want you to {know|see|share} a cancer cure?

You see, this person, the very same one that is too stupid to operate a spam bot would like you purchase a natural cure for cancer through their Clickbank authorized referral account.

Upon visiting the site, you are are accosted with the typical reseller site seemingly created by a six year old:

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