Archive for February, 2010
You really make it tough for those of us that don’t keep records.
by schwim on Feb.03, 2010, under Spam
From: David Benton <bentondav@web2mail.com>
Reply-To: bentonda@gmx.comSubj: Attention
This is For your Attention:
We wish to notify you again that you were listed as a beneficiary
to the total sum of Four million Two hundred and Fifty Seven Thousand
Seventeen Pence (British Pounds Sterling) in the intent of the deceased
(names now withheld since this is our second letter to you). We
contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore we
can present you as the beneficiary to the inheritance since there was
no written will. Our legal services aim to provide our private clients
with a complete service. We are happy to prepare wills, set-up and
administer Trusts, carry out the administration of estates and
prepare and administer Powers of Attorney.
All the papers will be processed in your acceptance. In your
acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward to this
email: bentonda@gmx.com
Your letter of acceptance your current telephone and fax numbers
and a forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at
our High court probate division for the release of this sum of
money to you.Yours Sincerely,
David Benton
bentonda@gmx.com
Withheld? Two can play that game, Mr. Benton.
A tip of the hat to you, good sir.
by schwim on Feb.03, 2010, under Miscellaneous
I sometimes wish I lived a hundred years ago when every woman was a lady and every man was a gentleman. I know this to be an inarguable truth because everyone wore fancy hats.
Everybody.
Fucking everybody.
Oh, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.
by schwim on Feb.02, 2010, under Humorous
The fact that the author thought instructions on how to fall 35,000 feet and live was a feasible how-to article is kind of funny. It pales in comparison however, to this little tid-bit of info buried inside:
Then, if a feet-first entry is inevitable, the most important piece of advice, for reasons both unmentionable and easily understood, is to clench your butt.
Mental note: The next time I’m thrust out of a commercial airliner at cruising altitude, I absolutely must remember to put my reading material aside, pull my earphones and clench my asshole tightly at the end of the fall.
