Just pick a fucking name, would you?
by schwim on Mar.29, 2011, under Humorous, Spam
From: KadrlikPetrarca, Katherine Naomi <kkadrli@calstatela.edu>
Subj: (No Subject)Are You Desperately in need of a loan help? or do you have bad credit contact us via: :dannywhite2010@aol.com with Amount needed and Loan Duration.
Why, as a mater of fact, Kadrilik-Katherine-Danny Petrarca-Naomi-White, I am desperately in need of a loan!
Hello Katherine,
I’m in the process of creating the world’s largest alpaca farm. I am raising them, then killing and stuffing them for use on those cute quarter rides that you find at the grocery store. I’ve raised them and killed them but now need the funds to hire a taxidermist to handle the stuffing portion of my plan. I can’t find a taxidermist locally that can handle the large number of stuffings that I have, but I did find a used car salesman two towns over willing to handle the job. He wants $125.00 per alpaca, $215.00 if I go for the optional protective undercoat.
I currently have 18,941 dead alpacas stored in the second floor of my house. By my math, that means I’m going to need a loan of $4,072,315.00. The gentleman explained that I can’t really afford to go without the undercoat as some of the alpacas will be installed in grocery stores located in extreme cold climates, where corrosive anti-freezing measures are used in the parking lots.
I plan on this taking off very quickly, therefore being able to pay you back in very short order. Without trying to seem overly optimistic about how long this will take, I would set the duration of the loan for 45 minutes.
I very much look forward to your reply, as it’s begun to smell very badly in my house.
thanks,
json
