From: SGT Steven D. Spencer <email@example.com>
Subj: [Ann] Letter from a U.S. Marine- 3/26/2011
I am SGT Steven D. Spencer, a US Marine Sergeant serving in the 3rd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment that Patrols the Anbar Province,Iraq. I am desperately in need of assistance and have summoned up courage to contact you. I am presently in Iraq and I got your contact particulars from a data mining company based back home in the states.
Your assistance is needed to evacuate the sum of $18 million (eighteen Million U.S Dollars) to a safe country; as far as I can be assured that it will be safe in your care until my service completion on 11th September, 2011.
Your help requires a private arrangement and with the help of a British contact working with the UN here (his office enjoys some immunity),you will receive these funds and invest them on our behalf. I am willing to part with generous management fees as well as show my utmost appreciation for fewer questions asked. I have waited for 7 years to allow the dust to settle and its clear no one is raising any issues on this.
A gentle reminder as the story was on BBC World News(link below):
I look forward to getting a straight answer from you in order to let us work out the modalities involved. This fund is currently located in Iraq and awaits your urgent response. Please reply to my personal email address contained in my signature below.
SGT Steven D. Spencer
United States Marine Corps.
Holy shit, it’s a real-live Marine!
Ooh rah, my motherfucking devil dog! How the hell are you?
My name is PVT. Schwim Dandy of Weapons Co. 2/2 and a life-long jar head. Why only a private? Because I’m a hard-charging, motherfucking Marine and I love to party, that’s why. That and I crashed the base commander’s humvee into the PX…..while he was in the back.
Fuck that shit though. Let’s make us some money! I don’t think we should deal with your British contact. Number one, he’s British. Number 2, he’s not American. I’ve got some ideas of my own about how we can get this money back to the states:
1) Kill some fucking ragheads, hollow their corpses with an ice-cream scoop, fill their skins with money and use them as carry-on luggage on the flight back to the states.
2) I will fly over and eat the motherfucking money. When we get back, I will shit you out exact change.
3) You fold all the bills into paper airplanes and throw them towards the U.S. I’m not an aerospace engineer, but surely some of that shit will make it across. I’ll hang out at the beach waiting for when they do.
Of course, you may have a better idea, but seeing as how you’re a Marine, I doubt it. We’re bred to kill, not to think! You might want to ask a corpsman though, they seem too smart for their own good.