From: angelakadhy <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subj: HEAR ME OUT PLEASE (URGENT REPLY)
I am Sister mrs Angela Kadhy from Bahrain. I am married to Dr. Phillip Kadhy who worked with Bahrain embassy in cote d’ivoire for nine years before he died in the year 2007. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.
When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of (5.5 Million
U.S.Dollars) with A BANK in cote d’ ivoire. Presently, this money is still with the BANK. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke, Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want a church that will use this to fund churches, orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained.
The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want my husband’s hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers.
I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bossom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.
I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health and because of the presence of my husband’s relatives around me always. I don’t want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the BANK in ivory coast.
I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the original- beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian.
Who ever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth.Please always be prayerful all through your life. any delay in your reply will give me a room in searching for a church or christian individual for this same purpose.
Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated here and i want you to fast and pray for God to take asbsolute controll of this fund untill it get to you.
Hoping to hear from you soon.
From Mrs Angela Kadhy
If anyone can overlook Sister Mrs., it’s me.
(P.S. Bonus points to me for the Weird Al lyric)
Monktastic greetings to you, Mrs. sister!
I feel as if the hand of God led your fingers as you wrote this email to me. My name is Father Shamus Dandy, of the Holy Order of Pointy Hats. I, along with my 11 wives, live and preach out of Apple Valley, Utah. I am the pious guy the little the little Amalettes want to be like. You can can trust that Gods work will be done through me with your funding.
I assure you that I will act according to your wishes. I have also ordered my wives to stop eating for the duration of this transaction to ensure that God doesn’t get angry and light the money on fire while it’s in transit, as you seem worried might happen. I guess because your God is an angry God.
Please let me know what I need to do to begin Gods work with your money.
May the baby Jesus’ light shine upon you until you’re dead,
Let’s get busy! (Click below to read the rest of the conversation)
From: angelakadhy <email@example.com>
Subj: Hello Dear.Hello Dear.Thank you so much for the mail I really appreciate it so much and I pray that every thing will workout for us for good.I want you to know that my late husband deposit this money in the security company for safekeeping and for future investment purpose. I want you to know that my husband serve in the Oil Company in Cote dIvoire before his death.Presently this fund is still under the custody of the fiduciary so I do need your assistance to get the fund secure in your position as my partner and family friend overseas, since their is presidential crisis going on here in abidjan cote d’ivoire, it will be very easy and secure for you to receive the money in your country as my partner and family friend.I will issue you the vital documents that cover the family valuable as soon as I hear from you and also the contact details of the fiduciary house where my late husband deposit the family valuable so that you will contact them on how to secure the family valuable on my behalf.I need you to send me your contact details to enable me send you the vital documents and the contact information’s of the fiduciary house where the money is been deposited so that you will contact them on how to transfer the family valuable to you in your country.Please know that we need to trust ourselves in this business transaction and let us focus Allah and believe that things will workout for us for good.I will be waiting to hear from you soonest with your contact information’s such as house address, phone number, age, occupation, country of origin so that we will proceed further.Your full names…………
Your residential address….
Your phone number…
Your country name…
Your OCCUPATION….Thanks and Allah bless you and your family.Yours faithfullyMrs. Angela Khady.
Hello my sweetest,
I see no reason why I shouldn’t provide you with my most sensitive of information. Please contact me at your earliest convenience.
93 Peachtree Street
Murphy, NC 28906-2940
Pfizer test subject
Now, the funny part to me isn’t the email, but that I gave him the address and phone number to the local police station. Living in a town run by rednecks, I giggle at the conversation that surely followed as a foreigner asked Sherriff Bubba if they could speak to Schwim Dandy.