E-Dribble

Found in the spam folder:

Infosprite…

[...] something about infosprite[...]…

Oh yeah?

Spamming piece of shit…

[...] something concerning a funnel, a bottle of sulphuric acid and the spamming piece of shit’s colon[...]…

Mark left this in my spam folder:

Mark Dulisse: I am the biggest internet marketing god alive http://holycrapIdeletedyourURL.com

You’re wrong Mark, you’re just a spamming piece of shit. I can only hope you come to pay me a visit when checking your spam penetration.  I would love to discuss with you how you might have come to such a mistaken conclusion concerning what makes you so special.

I often bitch about the lack of innovation when it comes to scammers of late.  I’ve seen the same thing over and over.  So much so, that I’ve reached the point that I don’t even amuse myself any longer(hence the lack of recent content).  Hey, don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Ah, but I found a guy that has rekindled in my heart the hope that we may see some new and innovative scams soon.

Recently, I read an article that laid out a method of searching mp3 directories across the web for music.  I followed the instructions and damned if I didn’t find results for all the searches I made.  I was pretty impressed, but seeing as how I don’t download music illegally, it wasn’t of much use to me, so I quickly forgot about the bookmark.  Until today.  I was trying to download one of the free albums from ytcracker, but the page he directs you to is inaccessible.  Then I remembered this incredible link I found, so I fired it up and gave it a spin.  Which led me to Wally.

(continue reading…)

I got a 419 scam in the form of an IRS refund notice, which is pretty ingenious.  Providing you don’t screw it up by forming the letter in the “illiterate and foreign 5 year old” format that is very popular with today’s scammers, it’s one of the more believable scams I’ve seen.  So why am I making fun of them?  Well, let’s just say they’re not aiming high enough.

From: Internal Revenue Service(IRS)
Subj: IRS Notification – Tax refund

After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity
we have determined that you are eligible to receive
a tax refund under section 501(c) (3) of the
Internal Revenue Code. Tax refund value is $189.60.
Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 6-9 days
in order to IWP the data received.
If u don’t receive your refund within 9 business
days from the original IRS mailing date shown,
you can start a refund trace online.

If you distribute funds to other organization, your records must show wether
they are exempt under section 497 (c) (15). In cases where the recipient org.
is not exempt under section 497 (c) (15), you must have evidence the funds will
be used for section 497 (c) (15) purposes.

If you distribute fund to individuals, you should keep case histories showing
the recipient’s name and address; the purpose of the award; the maner of
section; and the realtionship of the recipient to any of your officers, directors,
trustees, members, or major contributors.
To access the form for your tax refund, please click here

This notification has been sent by the Internal Revenue Service,
a bureau of the Department of the Treasury.

Sincerely Yours,
John Stewart
Director, Exempt. Organization
Rulings and Agreements Letter
Internal Revenue Service

$189.60? Really? I’m going to risk all of my personal data for less than two hundred dollars?  Let me tell you something, Mr. IRS scammer.  I don’t get out of bed for anything under 500.  Shoot me another email when your fictitious refund represents something worth having.

This is exactly why I stick with deposed royalty.

I was browsing through my Akismet spam for something interesting(which very rarely happens) and actually found something that made me smile.  It was spam from a search engine optimization (SEO) company.

Here’s the spam, complete with links(don’t say I never did anything for you, Flux!)

(continue reading…)

Either Chinese gold farmers need to purchase a fucking dictionary, or Blizzard has been overrun by illiterate and foreign twelve year olds:

I received this via a contact form on one of my sites:

Here’s a submission for you:

User: Justin Madrid

Name: Justin Madrid

Email: justinmadrid72@gmail.com

Comment:

Promotion of your website

We strongly believe that we have an excellent opportunity to increase the number
of visitors to your website through our white-hat SEO services. Please simply reply
to this message and we will be delighted to send you further information.

Although his offer is almost too good to be refused, I believe I may have outdone him.

Hi Justin,

I strongly believe you are a spamming piece of shit.  Please simply reply to this message with your precise location(either proper address or GPS coordinates) and I would be delighted to come find you, pull your bottom lip completely over your head and cockpunch you until both of your testicles are the size of weather balloons.

thanks,
json

I’ve been practicing on cantaloupes.

It seems Alibaba has some skeletons in his closet:

From: Mr Adada Dilshad <crusadersails@btconnect.com>
Reply-To: wahidadada300@yahoo.co.jp

Subject: Charity Funds

Hello Friend,

I am Mr. Adada an Oil merchant in Iraq; i have been diagnosed with esophageal cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts, just recently my doctor inform me i have a few weeks to live due to the esophageal cancer. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of fifteen million dollars $15, 000, 000,00 that I have with a Financial institution abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatched it to
charity organizations. It may interest you to know that i once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization; they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.

I have set aside 10% for you and for your time.

God be with you.

Mr. Adada

I’m shocked that you think my time is worth so little.

(continue reading…)

From: David Benton <bentondav@web2mail.com>
Reply-To: bentonda@gmx.com

Subj: Attention

This is For your Attention:

We wish to notify you again that you were listed as a beneficiary
to the total sum of Four million Two hundred and Fifty Seven Thousand
Seventeen Pence (British Pounds Sterling) in the intent of the deceased
(names now withheld since this is our second letter to you). We
contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore we
can present you as the beneficiary to the inheritance since there was
no written will. Our legal services aim to provide our private clients
with a complete service. We are happy to prepare wills, set-up and
administer Trusts, carry out the administration of estates and
prepare and administer Powers of Attorney.
All the papers will be processed in your acceptance. In your
acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward to this
email: bentonda@gmx.com
Your letter of acceptance your current telephone and fax numbers
and a forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at
our High court probate division for the release of this sum of
money to you.

Yours Sincerely,
David Benton
bentonda@gmx.com

Withheld? Two can play that game, Mr. Benton.

(continue reading…)

From: SERGENT CHUCK WHITE FITTE <sgt._chuck_whitee@o2.pl>
Reply-To: sgt._chuck_white@o2.pl

Subj: CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE

Hello,

My name is Chuck White Fitte. An American soldier serving in the Military of the 1st Armored Division in Hilla, 100km (60 miles) south of the capital, Baghdad Iraq. As you know, we are being attacked daily by insurgents and car bombings. I stumbled into a storage vault belonging to Uday Hussein.Saddam Hussein’s oldest son and discovered funds belonging to his family. The total amount is US$28.450 Million dollars in cash, mostly 100 dollar bills tightly tied in $1000.00 bundles. I want to secretly move this money to a reputable/sincere person for investment purposes. This is the reason for contacting you.

I am ready to compensate you with good percentage of the funds. The only thing i require from you is just for you to assist in moving the funds out of Iraq because Iraq is a war zone. I plan on using diplomatic means to shipping the money out as military cargo, using diplomatic immunity to London with the aid of my school friend who base in the U.K and has a chamber in central london. If you are interested I will send you his full details. My job is to find a good and respectable partner with great repute that i can trust that will assist. Can i trust you? When you receive this letter,kindly send me an e-mail signifying your interest including your most confidential telephone numbers which i will send to him for futher instructions.
This is 100% risk free.
All responses to:-
sgt._chuck_white@o2.pl

Respectfully,
Sgt.Chuck White Fitte.

You would think that you be required to be able to at least spell your rank.

(continue reading…)