Tag: scam
Let me fix that for you.
by schwim on Jul.17, 2010, under Spam
Mark left this in my spam folder:
Mark Dulisse: I am the biggest internet marketing god alive http://holycrapIdeletedyourURL.com
You’re wrong Mark, you’re just a spamming piece of shit. I can only hope you come to pay me a visit when checking your spam penetration. I would love to discuss with you how you might have come to such a mistaken conclusion concerning what makes you so special.
We may not actually make anything, but when it comes to scamming, we’re innovative.
by schwim on Jun.23, 2010, under Spam
I often bitch about the lack of innovation when it comes to scammers of late. I’ve seen the same thing over and over. So much so, that I’ve reached the point that I don’t even amuse myself any longer(hence the lack of recent content). Hey, don’t hate the player, hate the game.
Ah, but I found a guy that has rekindled in my heart the hope that we may see some new and innovative scams soon.
Recently, I read an article that laid out a method of searching mp3 directories across the web for music. I followed the instructions and damned if I didn’t find results for all the searches I made. I was pretty impressed, but seeing as how I don’t download music illegally, it wasn’t of much use to me, so I quickly forgot about the bookmark. Until today. I was trying to download one of the free albums from ytcracker, but the page he directs you to is inaccessible. Then I remembered this incredible link I found, so I fired it up and gave it a spin. Which led me to Wally.
I guess the economic crisis is hurting us all.
by schwim on Jun.18, 2010, under Humorous, Spam
I got a 419 scam in the form of an IRS refund notice, which is pretty ingenious. Providing you don’t screw it up by forming the letter in the “illiterate and foreign 5 year old” format that is very popular with today’s scammers, it’s one of the more believable scams I’ve seen. So why am I making fun of them? Well, let’s just say they’re not aiming high enough.
From: Internal Revenue Service(IRS)
Subj: IRS Notification – Tax refundAfter the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity
we have determined that you are eligible to receive
a tax refund under section 501(c) (3) of the
Internal Revenue Code. Tax refund value is $189.60.
Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 6-9 days
in order to IWP the data received.
If u don’t receive your refund within 9 business
days from the original IRS mailing date shown,
you can start a refund trace online.If you distribute funds to other organization, your records must show wether
they are exempt under section 497 (c) (15). In cases where the recipient org.
is not exempt under section 497 (c) (15), you must have evidence the funds will
be used for section 497 (c) (15) purposes.If you distribute fund to individuals, you should keep case histories showing
the recipient’s name and address; the purpose of the award; the maner of
section; and the realtionship of the recipient to any of your officers, directors,
trustees, members, or major contributors.
To access the form for your tax refund, please click hereThis notification has been sent by the Internal Revenue Service,
a bureau of the Department of the Treasury.Sincerely Yours,
John Stewart
Director, Exempt. Organization
Rulings and Agreements Letter
Internal Revenue Service
$189.60? Really? I’m going to risk all of my personal data for less than two hundred dollars? Let me tell you something, Mr. IRS scammer. I don’t get out of bed for anything under 500. Shoot me another email when your fictitious refund represents something worth having.
This is exactly why I stick with deposed royalty.
Don’t walk toward the light just yet.
by schwim on Mar.04, 2010, under Spam
It seems Alibaba has some skeletons in his closet:
From: Mr Adada Dilshad <crusadersails@btconnect.com>
Reply-To: wahidadada300@yahoo.co.jpSubject: Charity Funds
Hello Friend,
I am Mr. Adada an Oil merchant in Iraq; i have been diagnosed with esophageal cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts, just recently my doctor inform me i have a few weeks to live due to the esophageal cancer. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of fifteen million dollars $15, 000, 000,00 that I have with a Financial institution abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatched it to
charity organizations. It may interest you to know that i once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization; they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.I have set aside 10% for you and for your time.
God be with you.
Mr. Adada
I’m shocked that you think my time is worth so little.
You really make it tough for those of us that don’t keep records.
by schwim on Feb.03, 2010, under Spam
From: David Benton <bentondav@web2mail.com>
Reply-To: bentonda@gmx.comSubj: Attention
This is For your Attention:
We wish to notify you again that you were listed as a beneficiary
to the total sum of Four million Two hundred and Fifty Seven Thousand
Seventeen Pence (British Pounds Sterling) in the intent of the deceased
(names now withheld since this is our second letter to you). We
contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore we
can present you as the beneficiary to the inheritance since there was
no written will. Our legal services aim to provide our private clients
with a complete service. We are happy to prepare wills, set-up and
administer Trusts, carry out the administration of estates and
prepare and administer Powers of Attorney.
All the papers will be processed in your acceptance. In your
acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward to this
email: bentonda@gmx.com
Your letter of acceptance your current telephone and fax numbers
and a forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at
our High court probate division for the release of this sum of
money to you.Yours Sincerely,
David Benton
bentonda@gmx.com
Withheld? Two can play that game, Mr. Benton.
Your stories grow tiresome and unamusing… touch my monkey.
by schwim on Jan.29, 2010, under Spam
From: SERGENT CHUCK WHITE FITTE <sgt._chuck_whitee@o2.pl>
Reply-To: sgt._chuck_white@o2.plSubj: CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE
Hello,
My name is Chuck White Fitte. An American soldier serving in the Military of the 1st Armored Division in Hilla, 100km (60 miles) south of the capital, Baghdad Iraq. As you know, we are being attacked daily by insurgents and car bombings. I stumbled into a storage vault belonging to Uday Hussein.Saddam Hussein’s oldest son and discovered funds belonging to his family. The total amount is US$28.450 Million dollars in cash, mostly 100 dollar bills tightly tied in $1000.00 bundles. I want to secretly move this money to a reputable/sincere person for investment purposes. This is the reason for contacting you.
I am ready to compensate you with good percentage of the funds. The only thing i require from you is just for you to assist in moving the funds out of Iraq because Iraq is a war zone. I plan on using diplomatic means to shipping the money out as military cargo, using diplomatic immunity to London with the aid of my school friend who base in the U.K and has a chamber in central london. If you are interested I will send you his full details. My job is to find a good and respectable partner with great repute that i can trust that will assist. Can i trust you? When you receive this letter,kindly send me an e-mail signifying your interest including your most confidential telephone numbers which i will send to him for futher instructions.
This is 100% risk free.
All responses to:-
sgt._chuck_white@o2.plRespectfully,
Sgt.Chuck White Fitte.
You would think that you be required to be able to at least spell your rank.
I liked him better when he was a hot chick.
by schwim on Jan.25, 2010, under Spam
You guys remember Lt. Angela Stalwart of the U.S. Army? The hot gun toting babe that wanted to give me an undisclosed sum of money? Yeah, well now her name’s Graig(who in the hell spells their name like that?) and it’s 18 mil at stake this time:
From: Maj. Graig Mathews<graig.mathews@btinternet.com>
Reply-To: Maj. Graig Mathews<maj.graig.mathews@googlemail.com>
Subj: From Maj. Graig MathewsGood day and compliments of the season, I know this letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine my future and continued existence.
I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of Eighteen Million US Dollars ($18Million) to the States or any safe country, as far as I can be assured that it will be safe in your care until I complete my service here.
I am Maj. General Graig Mathews, a US Marine; Major General serving in the 3rd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment that Patrols the Anbar province, Iraq. I am desperately in need of assistance and I have summoned up courage to contact you.This is no stolen money and there are no dangers involved.
SOURCE OF MONEY:
Some money in various currencies was discovered and concealed in barrels with piles of weapons and ammunition at a location near one of Saddam Hussein’s old Presidential Palaces during a rescue operation and it was agreed by all party present that the money be shared amongst us.Click this link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm
This might appear as an illegal thing to do but I tell you what?
No compensation can make up for the risks we have taken with our lives in this hellhole.
The above figure was given to me as my share and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a British contact working with the UN here (his office enjoys some immunity)I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot. He does not know the real contents of the package as he believes that it belongs to an American who died in an air raid, who before giving up trusted me to hand over the package to his close relative. I have now found a secured way of getting the package out of Iraq for you to pick up. I do not know for how long I will remain here, as I have been lucky to survive 2 suicide bomb attacks by Pure Divine intervention.
This and other reasons put into consideration have prompted me to reach out for help. If it might be of interest to you then Endeavor to contact me and we would work out the necessary formalities but I pray that you are discreet about this mutually benefiting relationship. For the private nature of this reply me on this maj.graig.mathews@googlemail.com
Respectfully,
Maj. General Graig Mathews:
United States Marine Corps. IRAQ
Maj. General Mathews is so stupid that even Marines are thinking “Damn, he’s stupid.”…. right before they miss their mouth and accidentally stab themselves in the eye with their MRE spork. Nonetheless, I felt obligated to help him out.
There’s children in third world countries with no cell signal.
by schwim on Dec.21, 2009, under Miscellaneous
My main man, the Obamanator, in an effort put the government in charge of absolutely everything assembled a shock-troop in charge of people that sell you cellular phones. Well, those guys are wondering why Verizon doubled their cancellation fee for data phone contracts.
Verizon’s response? Well, they doubled the fee so the poor unwashed mobs of the world can afford to get the same incredible service that Verizon provides to the rich bastards that pay the ETF(early termination fee).
I hate to think of all the time I’ve wasted being discriminate.
by schwim on Dec.17, 2009, under Spam
From: febian george <febiangeorge8@sify.com>
Date: Dec 16
Reply-to: febiangeorge202@sify.com
Subject: HELLOI have US$33m to invest and if you are interested contact me for further details I am looking forward to hearing from you. via e_mail, febiangeorge202@sify.com
yours sincerely,
DR,Febian George
For the Family
I feel I owe Febian something in exchange for all the time he’s going to save me in the future:
Still no cure for gullibility.
by schwim on Dec.08, 2009, under Humorous
I often find comments in the spam section from people that are a few IQ points shy of a retard. This one, however, elicits a giggle. First, the comment:
{Hello|Hey there|Hey} {everyone|everybody|all},
{If|When} you {get|have} {an opportunity|a chance} {you|you all} {should|need to} {see|view|play} this {movie|video}. It {could|may|will} {soon|shortly} be {banned|taken down|outlawed}. {This|It is} what the {medical community|drug companies} don’t want you to {know|see|share} a cancer cure?
You see, this person, the very same one that is too stupid to operate a spam bot would like you purchase a natural cure for cancer through their Clickbank authorized referral account.
Upon visiting the site, you are are accosted with the typical reseller site seemingly created by a six year old:
