I was browsing through my Akismet spam for something interesting(which very rarely happens) and actually found something that made me smile. It was spam from a search engine optimization (SEO) company.
Here’s the spam, complete with links(don’t say I never did anything for you, Flux!)
I received this via a contact form on one of my sites:
Here’s a submission for you:
User: Justin Madrid
Name: Justin Madrid
Promotion of your website
We strongly believe that we have an excellent opportunity to increase the number
of visitors to your website through our white-hat SEO services. Please simply reply
to this message and we will be delighted to send you further information.
Although his offer is almost too good to be refused, I believe I may have outdone him.
I strongly believe you are a spamming piece of shit. Please simply reply to this message with your precise location(either proper address or GPS coordinates) and I would be delighted to come find you, pull your bottom lip completely over your head and cockpunch you until both of your testicles are the size of weather balloons.
I’ve been practicing on cantaloupes.