E-Dribble

I’m speaking, of course, about forms.  I’ve written in the past about my attempts to build a bot proof and spam resistant form.  I use the two terms independently because they are two very different things.  Even if you block bots, you’ve not necessarily stopped the humans that post to test the forms as well as posting actual spam. If you’ve built the form correctly, it’s actually impossible to completely block spam.  A human posting spam is indistinguishable from a human using your form for legitimate purposes.  Well, aside from the fact that they’re stupid.  And evil.

I digress.  Let’s get to the form bits.  In my past posts, I’ve spoken about broad concepts that have worked for me.  This time, I’m going to provide the actual code I’m using.    With my latest change of checking for a valid MX record, I’ve completely stopped spam on the form that I’m using this on for over a month.

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Although it’s long been the most logical solution, this is the first time I’ve seen it seriously proposed.  Australia is proposing to kick botnet zombie computers off the internet.  The only ambiguous aspect of the article is they plan to determine which computers are bots.  I would guess a mix of port 25 activity, a known list of “phone-home” IP’s and the like.

With some real forward thinking going on, they’re proposing that the owner of the infected computer is notified and from there, an escalation of action including slowing the connection and ending with terminating service.  I imagine if the U.S. were proposing this, you’d be reading about prison time and compensation to your ISP for the lost bandwidth.

I hope it actually makes it to fruition, simply for the reason that I’m interested to see what the bot owners will do next.

I long ago reached the bottom of the barrel in regards to emails to respond to.  I’ll provide better responses once the Nigerians resume their attempts at making their emails even remotely plausible.

Subject: Dear Child,
From: rose smith <asismith43@msn.com>

Reply-To: asifesmith.2020@live.com

Dear Child,

May God lead you my child.

My name is Mother Rose Smith,a widow to late William Smith, a business merchant here in London,who die after a protracted illness in may 2nd, 2006 ,I am presently undergoing Treatments in Southampton ,England. I have been diagnosed with hydatidiform mole cancer and esophageal cancer that was discovered very late due to lack of caring for my health.That was traced to be the source of my barrenness according to the experts. I have only about a few months to live according to this medical experts.

I am looking for someone reliable and trusted that can use my fund worth 7.5$ Million pounds,(Seven Million Five Hundred Thousand ) with CITI BANK UK for the less privileges and orphanage homes. Since i can’t survive this illness. Please contact me through this email address immediately with your

Name,

Address

phone number

and the Name of your Church:

Warm Greetings from,

Mother Rose Smith

I did the best I could with what was provided.

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It’s no secret that I hate what CAPTCHA’s have become.  If you’ve read my prior posts that mention it, you also know why.  For those that haven’t, CAPTCHA’s are a great way to get your site visitors to do your work for you.  It’s the absolutely perfect tool for the lazy, incompetent or otherwise deficient web site owner that can’t be bothered with properly protecting their site from the scourge of spammers.

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Please note that her post is sitting in the spam bin.

It makes you want to give her money to get to the top of the search engines, doesn’t it?

Here’s their article in full (Hey, I figure someone should get the search results):

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It grows mundane even for me, dealing with the same tired spam with the same tired responses, so when my wife sent me this one, I decided to take a new tact.  I’m going to try to string the guy along for as long as possible.  The challenge is I have to continue stuffing phrases and comments into the responses that would raise flags to any person that might want to give me millions of dollars.

Here’s the solicitation:

Subject: From Miss Linda Donald
Date: Tue, 12 May 2009
From: Mrs Linda Donald <mrslidadonalds7@yahoo.jp>
Reply-To: linda_donalds2009@yahoo.com

DONATION
Dearest ,

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Who’d have thunk it that a blog post concerning spam bots would be of interest in this day and age?  After watching the search results pile up for a blog post that was intended to be a light touch upon a subject, I started feeling bad.  Everyone kept showing up here looking for a magic bullet and I gave them a slingshot.  Neigh, a plastic spork.

Well, this time, the spork is made of wood!

What?  You were hoping for a silver bullet the second time around?  Woops.

Let me just say this:  As long as there are people with no morals and a lot of greed, you will have spam.  The upside to this is that you can have a lot less spam than your neighbor.

How far you have to go depends on the popularity of your site and the type of form that you’re trying to protect.

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I swear to God, I think they’ve farmed the drafting of these emails out to a facility for the mentally incompetent:

From the greedy genius:

debomen@hetnet.nl wrote:

confirm your prize Lucky No 2-10-18-22-36-4/6.

Your Email have won €1,000,000.00.Euros in De Postcode Euro Millions Email Sweepstakes Program Corporation, held on the 5th of February, 2009 in The Netherlands. Your email address was selected via computer ballot along with other 50 million email addresses collected from the web internet across the globe and your email came up with a golden ticket number 2820151922 and Award Numbers NLD318/15/662, We write to officially notify you of this award and to advise you to contact the processing office immediately for the claim.

Contact person, Micheal Van Holmes.
TEL:0031-659-019-056
Reply to E-mail: michealholmes@aol.nl

You are to contact your lottery agent with the following information’s:

Full Names:
Address:
Tel/Fax Numbers:
Occupations:
Date of Birth
Sex:
Nationality:
Award Numbers:
Amount Won:

Yours Sincerely,
Promotion Coordinator
Mrs. Holly Pieter.

I wrote:

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Look, I just don’t have the wherewhithall to draft a witty response, so I was checking the askimet spam queue in hopes of some comedy gold that I didn’t have to contribute to.  I am so glad that I looked.  Take these two nuggets of asshatedness as my gift to you.  I give you retards of spam.

to: Admin – If You want to delete your site from my spam list, please sent url of your domain to my e-mail: stopspam@mail.net
david durengberger health policy Zantac ama guidlines to assessment of medical impairment Diovan pills weight loss online

Wow, I can get my site deleted from their spam list!  Spammers have gotten so much more courteous over the years.  I can only imagine all the employees working diligently at their cubicles removing sites from their spam list.

I bet they farm the work out to India.

Attention All Site Owners: The following website openly promotes unfair tactics to gain high ranking in search engines! retardswithgooglefordummies.com Their members use dark art scripts free of charge. Those people are ruining the web! AVOID them at all costs!

Did you hear that guys?  DO NOT VISIT THAT SITE!  ALTHOUGH THEY WILL ROCKET YOUR DOMAIN TO THE TOP OF GOOGLE WITHIN SECONDS, THEY WILL DO IT WITH WIZARDRY, UP TO AND INCLUDING POINTY HATS AND WANDS!

Subject: Notification of Bequest
From: Peter Adams <p_adams520@yahoo.in>

Reply-To: peteradams077@yahoo.com.hk

Date: 12:20 AM

Peter Adams wrote:

I have a new email address!

You can now email me at: p_adam520@yahoo.in

Notification of your ($USD15,100,000 ) inheritance to claim as NEXT OF KIN to my late cleint.

- Peter Adams

Dearest Peter,

Are you so fucking lazy that you can no longer copy & paste another’s hard work?  You actually expect people to believe this bullshit? You sir, are not only a fucking moron, but you may be the laziest and most incompetent moron I’ve had the pleasure of receiving a 419 scam from yet.  I’m considering giving you my money if you promise to purchase and ingest some ground glass and then chase it with some cyanide.

While receiving a tabasco sauce enema.

thanks,
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