Tag: Spam
I guess it’s kind of like “Choose Your Own Adventure”.
by schwim on Jul.26, 2010, under Spam
Found in the spam folder:
Infosprite…
[...] something about infosprite[...]…
Oh yeah?
Spamming piece of shit…
[...] something concerning a funnel, a bottle of sulphuric acid and the spamming piece of shit’s colon[...]…
Let me fix that for you.
by schwim on Jul.17, 2010, under Spam
Mark left this in my spam folder:
Mark Dulisse: I am the biggest internet marketing god alive http://holycrapIdeletedyourURL.com
You’re wrong Mark, you’re just a spamming piece of shit. I can only hope you come to pay me a visit when checking your spam penetration. I would love to discuss with you how you might have come to such a mistaken conclusion concerning what makes you so special.
Well, they say that any advertising is good advertising.
by schwim on Jun.17, 2010, under Humorous, Spam
I was browsing through my Akismet spam for something interesting(which very rarely happens) and actually found something that made me smile. It was spam from a search engine optimization (SEO) company.
Here’s the spam, complete with links(don’t say I never did anything for you, Flux!)
I thinking you all is a big retarded.
by schwim on Jun.04, 2010, under Spam
Either Chinese gold farmers need to purchase a fucking dictionary, or Blizzard has been overrun by illiterate and foreign twelve year olds:
Greetings!Recently, the problem of account invasion is getting worse and worse which cause enormous players’equipments and virtual currency stolen. This severely damages the benefits of mass players, also causes our company lose a lot of customers.Our company has to adopt some measures to safeguard our common benefits in order to strengthen the safety of mass players’accounts, and firmly resist the account to be stolen again.Through our company’s research and investigation to xxx customers,we will make the following decisions: we launch a package of updated code strengthen system and dynamic code protection card which can effectively prevent the accounts invaded. We will send this package of code protection system to players free of charge.Please open this connection: http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/secureIf your account passes the check successfully, we will send this package of dynamic code protection card to you in the form of e-mail.In 3 days after you receiving the e-mail, if you don’t submit your information, we have right to freeze your account, every player is obligated to protect the safety of the account. You must work together with us to be determined to crack down all the behaviors of destroying games.If you had already authenticator your account, please disregard this automatic notification.Regards,
I eagerly await his reply.
by schwim on May.17, 2010, under Spam
I received this via a contact form on one of my sites:
Here’s a submission for you:
User: Justin Madrid
Name: Justin Madrid
Email: justinmadrid72@gmail.com
Comment:
Promotion of your website
We strongly believe that we have an excellent opportunity to increase the number
of visitors to your website through our white-hat SEO services. Please simply reply
to this message and we will be delighted to send you further information.
Although his offer is almost too good to be refused, I believe I may have outdone him.
Hi Justin,
I strongly believe you are a spamming piece of shit. Please simply reply to this message with your precise location(either proper address or GPS coordinates) and I would be delighted to come find you, pull your bottom lip completely over your head and cockpunch you until both of your testicles are the size of weather balloons.
thanks,
json
I’ve been practicing on cantaloupes.
If you build it, the spamming pieces of shit will come.
by schwim on Feb.11, 2010, under Software
I’m speaking, of course, about forms. I’ve written in the past about my attempts to build a bot proof and spam resistant form. I use the two terms independently because they are two very different things. Even if you block bots, you’ve not necessarily stopped the humans that post to test the forms as well as posting actual spam. If you’ve built the form correctly, it’s actually impossible to completely block spam. A human posting spam is indistinguishable from a human using your form for legitimate purposes. Well, aside from the fact that they’re stupid. And evil.
I digress. Let’s get to the form bits. In my past posts, I’ve spoken about broad concepts that have worked for me. This time, I’m going to provide the actual code I’m using. With my latest change of checking for a valid MX record, I’ve completely stopped spam on the form that I’m using this on for over a month.
And if you smoke, we’ll take away your oxygen.
by schwim on Jan.25, 2010, under Spam
Although it’s long been the most logical solution, this is the first time I’ve seen it seriously proposed. Australia is proposing to kick botnet zombie computers off the internet. The only ambiguous aspect of the article is they plan to determine which computers are bots. I would guess a mix of port 25 activity, a known list of “phone-home” IP’s and the like.
With some real forward thinking going on, they’re proposing that the owner of the infected computer is notified and from there, an escalation of action including slowing the connection and ending with terminating service. I imagine if the U.S. were proposing this, you’d be reading about prison time and compensation to your ISP for the lost bandwidth.
I hope it actually makes it to fruition, simply for the reason that I’m interested to see what the bot owners will do next.
The range is phenomenal
by schwim on Aug.04, 2009, under Spam
I long ago reached the bottom of the barrel in regards to emails to respond to. I’ll provide better responses once the Nigerians resume their attempts at making their emails even remotely plausible.
Subject: Dear Child,
From: rose smith <asismith43@msn.com>Reply-To: asifesmith.2020@live.com
Dear Child,
May God lead you my child.
My name is Mother Rose Smith,a widow to late William Smith, a business merchant here in London,who die after a protracted illness in may 2nd, 2006 ,I am presently undergoing Treatments in Southampton ,England. I have been diagnosed with hydatidiform mole cancer and esophageal cancer that was discovered very late due to lack of caring for my health.That was traced to be the source of my barrenness according to the experts. I have only about a few months to live according to this medical experts.
I am looking for someone reliable and trusted that can use my fund worth 7.5$ Million pounds,(Seven Million Five Hundred Thousand ) with CITI BANK UK for the less privileges and orphanage homes. Since i can’t survive this illness. Please contact me through this email address immediately with your
Name,
Address
phone number
and the Name of your Church:
Warm Greetings from,
Mother Rose Smith
I did the best I could with what was provided.
While you’re at it, would you mind proofreading a couple articles?
by schwim on Jul.11, 2009, under Software
It’s no secret that I hate what CAPTCHA’s have become. If you’ve read my prior posts that mention it, you also know why. For those that haven’t, CAPTCHA’s are a great way to get your site visitors to do your work for you. It’s the absolutely perfect tool for the lazy, incompetent or otherwise deficient web site owner that can’t be bothered with properly protecting their site from the scourge of spammers.
Her tactics are bulletproof.
by schwim on May.28, 2009, under Kitchen, Spam
Please note that her post is sitting in the spam bin.
It makes you want to give her money to get to the top of the search engines, doesn’t it?
Here’s their article in full (Hey, I figure someone should get the search results):