Breaking from my modus operandi, I’d like to share a couple thoughts on the matter. Normally, I’d give it a miss, because half of you already know that what I’m saying is true and the other half is mistaken, but I’ve sat still for the fanatics on both sides long enough to deserve stating the completely obvious.

Living green is good. Not because the earth is going to fall out of orbit if you continue using disposable razors and aerosol cans. Not because there’s an Indian at the tree line that sheds a tear when you drop your empties on the ground and not because the batshit crazy bastards at Sierra Club say so. It’s good because it’s an easy way to not have to live in a cesspool of crap. There really is no argument that living responsibly can be bad. The argument is in regards to how clean you have to live. This is where it all falls apart.

You’re not going to destroy the earth. In fact, you’re either an egotist, a retard or a higher ranking Sierra Club member if you think it’s even remotely possible. At best, you can exterminate the human race. After this of course, the earth will simply reclaim it’s real estate. It’s very simple. What did you think would happen? It would snap in half and plummet out past Pluto?

Any attempts to live with a small environmental footprint benefits us as a global community. For instance, living this way would mean we wouldn’t have to tell half of a population not to drive their car and move businesses and factories simply so people don’t come down with black lung. We’ve become such a wasteful society that someone unfortunately has to take the hit and be fanatical about it, lest I should get completely covered up by the crap that you are generating.

The lipstick environmentalists do nothing to help the cause. While Al Gore is telling you about “an Inconvenient Truth”, he’s spending more money a year on utilities at his home in Tennessee than I spend on a family vehicle. His rebuttal? He’s buying carbon credits and using “green energy”. Herein lies the problem. Al Gore doesn’t want to use less energy to power and heat his 20 room/8 bathroom estate. His options? Donate money to services that attempt to protect the earth from people’s excessive living habits, which in turn allows him to live excessively. All better, right? This is your government at work.

During my drives through the national forest nearby, I’ve found impromptu dumping grounds that the locals use because it’s just too hard to go the extra 10 miles to the dump. Twice, I’ve found piles of trash around “No Dumping” signs, which I guess is the locals’ brand of humor. They’re pigs and they’re just as useless and disgusting as Al Gore, the builder of internets. The fanatics are the only ones willing to try to stop it, so we have to put up with commercials and advertisements that attempt to brainwash. When buying “Fine Home Building”, I have to read on average two articles per issue that tell you how to build “green” by using cavity insulation made from used toilet tissue and load bearing beams made from old diapers so you can make a small environmental impact with your McMansion. Nobody seems to mention building a smaller house or buying a house already built.

The solution to this is simply living sensibly. I know it’s cool to drive a car that runs on bottle caps or gum wrappers, but it’s really not necessary.

I just hope people realize it before the earth bursts into flames.